Little Heaven

Alhamdulillah..bersyukur ke hadrat Ilahi di atas kurniaan rezeki yang tak pernah putus....rezeki yang dimaksudkan adalah rumah yg dibeli tahun lepas dah siap..dan dah dapat kunci

macam tak percaya..dalam pelbagai masalah dan dugaan yang perlu dilalui dari tahun lepas..sempat jugak aku n hubby beli sebuah rumah ni..macam tak percaya lak..dgn sumber kewangan yg terhad dan ditambah lagi dgn kos rawatan yg perlu ditanggung..mcm tak sangka kiteorg berjaya lalui semua fasa-fasa ni..terasa semua telah diatur dgn baik dan dipermudahkan..

walaupun diduga dgn pelbagai masalah..Allah masih sayang pada kami berdua..byk dugaan yang diberi..byk jugak rakmat yang dianugerah..byk rezeki2 yg tak terduga kami perolehi..sampai sekarang aku masih tak percaya yang kami dah ada rumah sendiri..syukur!..mungkin rezeki utk menimang cahaya mata belum sampai lagi..tapi aku percaya semua yang terbaik telah diatur..yang penting kena terus berusaha..berdoa dan bertawakal..dan yang paling istimewa rezeki untuk adik-adikku, liana dan jus dah sampai..tahun depan insyallah 2 anak buah akan jadi famili baru kiteorg..sebagai mak long tentuler excited sesangat tak sabar nak timang anak2 buah ni..manaler tu lepas ni berjangkit pulak..haha

sambung balik citer rumah baru..

biaseler..bile dah ade rumah sendiri macam yang dirancang utk jadikan rumah ni rumah impian..tapi memandangkan bajet yg terhad terpaksaler pendam jer hasrat ni..dulukan apa yang penting..dan ikut kemampuan..yg lain2..kena postpone dulu..utk masa2 akan dtg..Insyaallah kalau ada rezeki..semua yang dirancang akan direalisasikan..bergantung pada masa dan rezekinya..yang istimewa rumah yang dibeli dekat dgn rumah adik dan best friend..senang mak ngan ayah nak tgk anak2..sekali jalan jerr..utk best friend..yan..tak sangka kiter berjiran..rumah satu line lagi..dari duk sebilik masa blaja..pastu duk serumah masa baru keja..skrg ni duk dekat2 rumah pulak biler dah kahwin..haha..kite memang tak dapat dipisahkan lagi..senang le geng2 kite nak dtg beraya..boleh serbu 2 rumah sekali..

sekarang ni tgh sibuk cari keperluan2 rumah..tgh cari2 kontraktor yg murah2 nak buat renovation sket2..harapan untuk rumah baru ni..semoga rumah ni sentiasa dipenuhi kebahagian dan kasih sayang..semoga rumah ni merupakan tempat yang sesuai untuk kami menambah ahli keluarga...2 rumah sebelum ni..takde rezeki..mungkin baby aku ni memilih..nak duk rumah sendiri gak..haha..semoga kami dilapangkan rezeki untuk menambahbaik rumah ni..semoga rumah ni menjadi syurga kecil buat kami sekeluarga dan menjadi tempat untuk berteduh dari hujan dan panas..semoga syurga kecil ini memberi kami kesejahteraan dan kebahagian yang berpanjangan..Insyallah



little heaven

Praying For The CURE-Part II

hye..im back again..with another story of my treatment experienced..as i mentioned in my previous entry that i managed to get an appointment with ONG Doctor Prof Hamid for the further checkup..i just felt nothing but as time passed by and when it took really close to date..i started to feel confius and blur. I was thinking..that should i proceed with the appointment..i just thought that am i in the really bad medical condition that brought me to the specialist..aggrhh..this kind of feeling really made me crazy!

another dilemma..another big question in my head..should i proceed the treatment with a male doctor or should i go to somewhere else which more suitable..as i knew that this kind of treatment will lead to many procedures which are directly enggaged with private part of your body..haha..

what i've done to cope with this issue:

1. discussed with hubby..i should get the green light as he is the 'landlord'..haha. what my hubby has said .."takpeler sayang..kite tawakal..kite nak cube yang terbaik kan..dan ramai yg recommend doktor ni..die kat profesional dan experienced..die pun dah tah heran pun..kite cube ajelah..saya positif jerr..kadang lelaki ni lbh sensitif dgn pompuan..lbh respect..yg penting awak kena terbuka ler..jgn fikir bukan2jerr..ni proses berubat..tapi kalau awak segan kite cari jumpa doctor pompuan..yg penting pakar yg well known!

2. talk to my parents..get some advise..my mom said..'ala tak payah risau..doctor tu dah berpuluh tahun buat keja ni..hati die pun Allah dah pelihara sbb dah byk tolong org..tu pun ibadat gak tu..awak baby lagi pun die dah ade kat tv ni..skrg ni pun dah baya2 ayah jer..tak pyh malu lerr..die tak heran pun..haha

3. get more information about the doctor..thanks u so much to website..www.hamidarshat.com..the moderator..the forumer..there are so many reliable information..that helped me so much with my decision

4. buat solat hajat bagi lapang hati ni nak buat rawatan..

to be continue..first day of treatment..the ugly truth..the ugly me!

till the next entry ya!

Praying For The CURE- Part 1

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Retroverted Uterus during my first consultation with Dr Hamid Arshat..it was October 2008.What the doctor have said to me was so heartbreaking for both emotionally and physically.I was so down..i was burst into tear all my way from Damansara to my home at Putrajaya..my husband try to comfort and console me with his warmth hug but it didn’t worked at that time..i just cried for the whole night until I fell asleep..i was so hurt..i felt so weak and damn tired..

The PCOS lead to hormone disorder, irregular menstruation, obesity and it will affect the reproductive system and the cause of infertility. The retroverted uterus is a uterus that is tilted backwards inside of the pelvis. Most of the women born with the uterus is slightly forward to the stomach but i just not so lucky..

I missed my menstruation for six month..after i had bleeding during my DPA course at Kuala Kubu Baru..i fell down and hit the staircase..and suffered for the serious pain at my pubic area..and at the night I just got the heavy bleeding..it was damn hurt as i never experienced the period pain..i was sent to the Hospital and the doctor just said that I had my normal mensus without doing any checking..i was in my physical module..and got the MC was a bonus for me..but during the time I just felt so weak..i couldn’t eat..i lost my weight for 5kg in a week..i just felt so sick..but during the course I just felt tired to think about myself..i spent my time in the sick bay while the rest were struggling with the 'Modul Bomba'

I proceed to doctor after finishing the course as my husband was so worried about my health condition and the doctor assumed that i might had miscarriage.but it too late to confirm because it already two week after the bleeding.what a shocked..i just ignored with the miscarriage issue..me and hubby just felt nothing due to my course wasn’t allow pregnancy.. or i need to repeat the whole course again..

After 6 month I have skipped the mensus I started to worry..but i still have no direction..where to go and whom to ask..i just proceed with a regular doctor somewhere in Bangi to get some advice..i went through several test..scanning..and the doctor said that my ovaries was swollen and it due to my irregular mensus..the doctor gave me the fertility pill together with a medicine to get my mensus back but it still didn’t work on me , i also proceed the treatment with Bidan at my kampung..after a few visit and all the urut2..she said that I was pregnant..i did the urine test and went to doctor for scanning but the doctor said that I wasn’t pregnant..i felt so confused.the doctor advised me to get my mensus but the bidan said no..this what the bidan said “ sue jangan sue..kesian kat budak tu..di masih kat bawah..doctor tak perasan lagi tu” can u imagine how I felt that day..i am enjoyable and happy person..but this thing just turned me to be more quite..i cried a lot and just be so individual...it ruined my life so bad..

I am a determined person..something must come with the answer. I cant just wait for uncertainty..it wasn’t sound that I not believe with the bidan or put any blamed on her..it just didn’t work on me..i considered that wasn’t my rezeki..if you are standing in my shoes you will understand how to let thing go..how to open your heart and soul and how to forgive and forget..in order to make you to feel release and relief..so I proceed with the doctor..took the medicine for three month..to boost the fertility..and I should get pregnant within that period but it yet to be happen and still considered it wasn’t my rezeki

But I started to think that did i meet a right doctor or did I do something wrong from the beginning..so I started to search more information for my condition..i still remember that I called one of my sister’s best friend NOI..she is a nice girl, she married for five years..went through so many infertility treatment and still has no chance to get pregnant..with just a simple call..noi called me back and told me that she has managed to put my name in Dr Hamid Arshat‘s appointment list…I know him since I was a child..i saw him on tv..and I know that he is a good ONG doctor..there is still a hope..

i will update the treatment with Dr hamid Arshat in the next entry! its still a long journey!