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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Praying For The CURE- Part 1

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Retroverted Uterus during my first consultation with Dr Hamid Arshat..it was October 2008.What the doctor have said to me was so heartbreaking for both emotionally and physically.I was so down..i was burst into tear all my way from Damansara to my home at Putrajaya..my husband try to comfort and console me with his warmth hug but it didn’t worked at that time..i just cried for the whole night until I fell asleep..i was so hurt..i felt so weak and damn tired..

The PCOS lead to hormone disorder, irregular menstruation, obesity and it will affect the reproductive system and the cause of infertility. The retroverted uterus is a uterus that is tilted backwards inside of the pelvis. Most of the women born with the uterus is slightly forward to the stomach but i just not so lucky..

I missed my menstruation for six month..after i had bleeding during my DPA course at Kuala Kubu Baru..i fell down and hit the staircase..and suffered for the serious pain at my pubic area..and at the night I just got the heavy bleeding..it was damn hurt as i never experienced the period pain..i was sent to the Hospital and the doctor just said that I had my normal mensus without doing any checking..i was in my physical module..and got the MC was a bonus for me..but during the time I just felt so weak..i couldn’t eat..i lost my weight for 5kg in a week..i just felt so sick..but during the course I just felt tired to think about myself..i spent my time in the sick bay while the rest were struggling with the 'Modul Bomba'

I proceed to doctor after finishing the course as my husband was so worried about my health condition and the doctor assumed that i might had miscarriage.but it too late to confirm because it already two week after the bleeding.what a shocked..i just ignored with the miscarriage issue..me and hubby just felt nothing due to my course wasn’t allow pregnancy.. or i need to repeat the whole course again..

After 6 month I have skipped the mensus I started to worry..but i still have no direction..where to go and whom to ask..i just proceed with a regular doctor somewhere in Bangi to get some advice..i went through several test..scanning..and the doctor said that my ovaries was swollen and it due to my irregular mensus..the doctor gave me the fertility pill together with a medicine to get my mensus back but it still didn’t work on me , i also proceed the treatment with Bidan at my kampung..after a few visit and all the urut2..she said that I was pregnant..i did the urine test and went to doctor for scanning but the doctor said that I wasn’t pregnant..i felt so confused.the doctor advised me to get my mensus but the bidan said no..this what the bidan said “ sue jangan sue..kesian kat budak tu..di masih kat bawah..doctor tak perasan lagi tu” can u imagine how I felt that day..i am enjoyable and happy person..but this thing just turned me to be more quite..i cried a lot and just be so individual...it ruined my life so bad..

I am a determined person..something must come with the answer. I cant just wait for uncertainty..it wasn’t sound that I not believe with the bidan or put any blamed on her..it just didn’t work on me..i considered that wasn’t my rezeki..if you are standing in my shoes you will understand how to let thing go..how to open your heart and soul and how to forgive and forget..in order to make you to feel release and relief..so I proceed with the doctor..took the medicine for three month..to boost the fertility..and I should get pregnant within that period but it yet to be happen and still considered it wasn’t my rezeki

But I started to think that did i meet a right doctor or did I do something wrong from the beginning..so I started to search more information for my condition..i still remember that I called one of my sister’s best friend NOI..she is a nice girl, she married for five years..went through so many infertility treatment and still has no chance to get pregnant..with just a simple call..noi called me back and told me that she has managed to put my name in Dr Hamid Arshat‘s appointment list…I know him since I was a child..i saw him on tv..and I know that he is a good ONG doctor..there is still a hope..

i will update the treatment with Dr hamid Arshat in the next entry! its still a long journey!

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